Do you wonder why relationships fail easily for the silliest of reasons? A committed, loving relationship is one of life’s greatest joys and accomplishments.
Having a loving relationship, you can have a strong foundation for a meaningful life; however, not many couples overcome life’s difficulties and uncertainties. Yet about 40% of marriages end in divorce, and breakups are even more frequent among unmarried parings.
Why your relationship goes bad? What you are doing wrong? The truth is that relationship is not about love – in fact, it requires commitment, self-awareness, unselfishness, and willingness to change and grow from both partners. Before starting to be in a relationship, you need to learn to shift from ‘me’ to ‘we’. Most committed relationships can survive ups and downs, but the patterns and behaviors can create more permanent damage. According to Ph.D. Melanie Greenberg, there are 4 damaging reasons that cause the failure in relationships or marriages.
The common reasons mentioned in the ‘why relationships fail‘ topic are the little reasons that many people may not notice at first, but they can build up and cause conflicts to your relationship. It’s a must to pay attention to all the potential signs that could threaten your love life.
Lost says
Hi people Im in need of help.
My Girlfriend still Indirectly Works With The Guy She Had Sex With.
My question is I have tried to trust her but in the past she has lied to me about getting rid of his number. I finally confronted her about it, when I asked her for her phone she righ away deleted his name . We talked about it , she said she doesn’t see him but this is a bar they work at and I just cannot see the reason where he wouldn’t just show up for a drink , food , etc. She has said she hasn’t seen him nor doesn’t even know if he still works there…. which I find hard to believe because a few days ago I seen there schedule and his name is right above hers , so why would she say that ?
I have tried to let it go and live my life with my girlfriend but I’ve seen his truck pas by where we live twice already.( once last week and once this week ) I asked her about this and I told her it bugs me that Im bringing this up again but I need to hear this from her, she said ” don’t worry there is nothing going on! I haven’t seen or even heard of him come up in conversation here at work!)
I find that hard to believe just because its a bar and there are people drinking , acting up, getting crazy at time, etc. And she dosent hear anything about his shift ? ???
Now my question ? Do I have a good enough reason to ask her who is this guy? Where does he live ( general location)what does he look like? Because I pick her up and and he could be there and I wouldn’t even know if hes around?
Im not gonna start a fight with him even though I can fight, I just want to know how and why did this guy just disappear!? I use to hear stories about cray stuff that happens at the bar with him and other people in the bar and now nothing….but I’ve now seen this truck pass by the house we live in.
So is this a reason for me to request this info from her? What do I do ?
Frederic Chen says
Hi dear,
Well.
I’d say that your being uncomfortable with her working with him is normal, but it is normal ONLY because she actually did sleep with him at one point. If she had no such history, I’d probably say that you were overreacting. But in this case, she is working with someone she did sleep with at one time, so I’d say your feelings are not out of line.
Remember that she is no longer with him-she ended that relationship (at least the sexual part), so presumably, there is no more physical attraction there, no more temptation. The fact that she already did the deed with him probably inoculates her from doing anything beyond talking to him at this point.
But…
Nonetheless, you have to ask yourself: Do you trust her?
If you do, then you need to accept that yes, they have history in that department, and you need to override your feelings, and trust that she isn’t going to do that until she gives you a reason NOT to trust her.
If you cannot trust her, then you need to really think about whether or not you can have a relationship with her. You cannot hold her past against her, and that feeling of uncomfortableness can turn into jealous controlling behavior pretty quick if you don’t deal with it.
So examine your relationship-is there a reason for you not to trust her, or is her history with this dude making you nervous?
Once you have an answer, then you need to communicate to her how you feel so that she is aware of your feelings, and so she can help you feel better about her friendship with him. If you can trust her, then you two work together so that you can feel better about her friend. You don’t get to dictate to her who she can be friends with, so unless something is truly hinky, you need to work with it if she likes him.
If you cannot trust her and this dude is making you crazy, then you may have to find another girl. She shouldn’t have to deal with a boyfriend who cannot trust her when she hasn’t done anything (at least since you got together).
Sincere
Corrie miller says
I had few relationships where it failed. I get cheated on or someone wants to move on without me knowing. I want be in a trusting long lasting relationship. I am sick of guys treating me badly and not loving me for who I am.